I hate you. All of you. Worthless sniveling excuses of human nature. I hate people in general really, and I find it hard to muster up any kind of sympathy for you wretched creatures. You cheat, lie, steal, rape; what the hell is not to hate? Who are your idols? Child molesters and greedy self-indulgent business whores. Oh god, oh god, when will you cast down thine apocalyptic plague?

Maybe I’m being too general.

I hate dopey dimwitted blacks, avaricious jew swine, asinine fanatical arabs, materialistic menstruating women, dull impersonal asians, lazy drunken natives, foul curry indians, mexicans, africans, australians too. I hate muslims, christians, buddhists, hindus, taoists, mormons, atheists, and even those carpet-munching wiccans. Kill homos. Screw handicaps. Miss anyone? Fuck you too.

That’s right, this is the internet and I can say whatever the hell I want… asshole.

Hate is serious. Apparently 7,000 - whoops, 7,001 hate websites have been identified on the internet. Sites with games in order to attract children¹. Sites showing how to build bombs². Sites to tickle the senses of any rotten scapegoating scum. The horrifying thing about all this is that websites bypass the media filter system. Anyone can access hate now.

Hate hasn’t always been easily accessible. Hate-mongers would seek the bible or the Quran on the black market and risk molestation at the church. Camps and schools secretly existed where children were raised, from birth, to hate women and homosexuals. All of the sudden this garbage is more accessible. Or maybe it is just the new stuff?

And what about hypocritical scum like the Simon Wiesenthal Center and other do-goodder foundations seeking petty vengeance. They are worried, allegedly, at the rising number of hate websites; some more than others, I presume. Tracking down hatred all over the planet and bringing it to justice. How nobel. If they’re homosexual, two birds - one stone. These people aren’t seeking equal conditional worth for all human beings; they seek blood, as always.

Here’s an idea: Why not teach kids logic, reasoning skills. How is it, in a developed system where children go through 13 years of learning, that most will never experience the faintest glimpse of critical thinking? If society is so concerned with influential children being brainwashed by hate then maybe it should equip children with the tools necessary to resist it themselves. Haven’t we learned that trying to rid the world of effects, while neglecting the causes, is useless³?

But we can’t teach children logic, oh no. If we did that, we couldn’t brainwash them. They would question us; they would hate us for our stupidity. So let’s raise morons, together. Together we can foster hatred for logic instead of hatred for each other. Let logic be our common foe.

There is nothing wrong with us. Everyone needs something to hate.

Self-preservation at all costs.

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1. See “Ethnic Cleansing” the game [↩]
2. Anarchist cookbook and others [↩]
3. See War on Drugs [↩]

They appear taller than they are. Black suits; knee high skirts; masks made of multicolored concealers, greenhouse sprayers, coloring pastes - suitcases of reconstructing patches making artificial intelligence seem like a work of nature. Feminists. Just writing it gives me fever-like chills down my spine.

Calm down ladies. Maybe you do deserve to vote and work: seems reasonable enough. But this feminism thing is no longer instigating equality and cooperation, but rather division. Women’s solidarity right? Look how that is being accomplished, through the creation of a common enemy: man.

A line of Rona commercials has been taken off the air in Canada because of its discriminatory remarks about men. One single father saw one of these commercials and took the complaint to the company, where he received ridicule for his complaint. One article describes the commercial:

The commercial features a female customer going into a Rona store with an imaginary complaint called “homestressidous.”A sympathetic female clerk suggests the customer’s husband never helps around the house. The customer confirms this and the clerk responds: “That’s okay. They [husbands] are all like that.”

Politics. To feminist women, Men are the Al-Qaeda’s to Bush, the Jews to Hitler, and the women to the Catholic Church. I begin to wonder, Are women’s rights still about ethics or are they just petty jealousy? Seems as though your righteous struggle against discrimination has degenerated into a savage crusade against masculinity.

Feminism is just another Christianity rising up against Paganism, not for some higher moral system but for the acquisition of power.

I know you like the commercials ladies. As did the beaten-down German’s of the 1930’s like the propaganda articles sponsored by Hitler against the Jews. It allowed them to displace any shame and build pride. A common threat gives people a purpose; a goal. But, as is typical of any scapegoat, the real problem still remains.

The real problem is human. People associate immorality, stupidity, or any other type of ‘wrongness’ with some common characteristic of the people displaying that attribute. We start by denouncing the actions, but almost always end up denouncing the people. (And yes, atheists tend to do that to religious people sometimes, and vice versa.)

Lets flip things around. Take some common problems in our society for instance. I see a real problem with our obsession with appearance and celebrities, our impulsiveness, our yearning for instant gratification, and our lack of leadership. Rather recent social phenomenons wouldn’t you agree? Closely related to say… the rise of feminism? These are indeed characteristics usually attributed to women.

Now say I were to go around claiming that all women are obsessed with appearances. Making public appearances, creating commercials, etc.. Some back ally garbage bin would inevitably become the final resting place for the victim of my very public castration. Justice for my hatred.

Have you feminists ever considered that the types of mass generalizations you associate with men are of the same ilk as the ones that probably led to discrimination against women in the first place? Women were considered provocative and distracting - a menace to the building of civilization and should therefore be delegated simple tasks. Yes, more extreme than the feminist cause today, but same type of thinking.

Now before you all go off on me about simplifying feminism and blowing it out of proportion let me just point out that I concede feminism is a very diverse subject matter. My criticism should be directed at the ‘excesses’ of feminism which I mention, and not the whole movement itself. I agree with equality and cooperation. I criticize divisiveness.

I don’t think feminists are bad because they are women. Just like I don’t think Christians are bad because they believe in Christ or were born that way. I judge people individually by their actions. And when those actions that I feel are unethical become institutionalized, I judge the institution. I can respect who you are while still hating what you do.

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Do you remember reading in school, or seeing in Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto (a vile movie I might add), stories of human sacrifice? People captured, limbs tied; forced to sacrifice their lives in order to appease the gods. Archaic tales of civilizations long forgotten…

Seems we are merely uninformed.

Human sacrifice is happening today: in a little south African country called Mozambique. According to BBC News:

Murder, mutilation and exhuming human bones for witchcraft have become a common practice, particularly in the country’s northern and central regions.

That’s right. People are being murdered so that their body parts can be used for witchcraft spells. This is different than all of those chilling reports of organ harvesting during surgery or for criminal punishment. These are helpless, forgotten, undeserving women and children. I suppose both cases have profit motive in common.

Thankfully politicians are on the job. Mozambican officials are scrambling as we speak, enacting laws against human trafficking for the purpose of selling body parts. Apparently bad press made them change their views on the topic. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself; democracy of course; maybe parliament is not in agreement. In a couple of weeks, the story may just blow over and they won’t have to strain themselves. Awww… they grow up so fast.

Some of you may think: “God, why aren’t we over there doing something about this?”. Fair question, I suppose. But let me ask you this: Who are we to go barging into some democratic country and forcing our morality? Do Mozambicans come invade us because our priests sexually abuse our children? No, they mind their own business. We should do the same.

The only reason to invade for the sake of ethics is in the case of verbal or political challenges. Ethical responsibility forces us to create an agreeable form of government and show how righteous we are in giving their citizens more rights and freedoms. We will defend our battles to the death, on ethical grounds of course. Brave at heart indeed.

That is why we cannot send troops to Mozambique or Darfur (where women are regularly raped and forced to eat feces while their families watch). We must stand by our ethics and let democracy flourish! If women don’t like being raped or murdered for body parts then they should vote against it, if they can. Jesus, can’t they see we’ve got enough things to deal with?

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Lets all try to wrap our brains around this one.

I noticed today, in my neglected inbox of mostly dry, horrendously boring science news that something seemed a little ‘off’ about this story. Apparently, researchers at the University at Buffalo have linked the use of malt liquor (your Big Bear, Colt 45, Olde English 800, Magnum, Bull Ice, etc.) to marijuana and other substance abuse among young adults.¹ . In fact, regular users of malt liquor were found to consume an average of 19 joints per week as opposed to an average of 2. And no, marijuana use was not the factor contributing to drinking as most of the participants consumed malt liquor before ever trying marijuana. Scary isn’t it?

Now if we believe in all of the ummm… arguments in favor of criminalizing marijuana (ie. cancer, gateway to heroine, psychosis, stupidity, crime, etc.) including that flawless study I mentioned last time, then this study should be truly revolutionary right? The majority of research suggests that the more marijuana you use, the higher your risk of acquiring one of those horrifying side-effects. Last time I mentioned that heavy marijuana consumption could double your risk of developing schizophrenia! So, by the laws of reason: drinking malt liquor leads to heavy marijuana use and heavy marijuana use leads to dangerous side-effects, therefore… Malt liquor should be easily available and its advertising targeted at young adults.

Sound about right?

Indeed, the famous ‘gateway’ theory of marijuana (ie. if you smoke dope, you’ll probably smoke crack eventually) is of extreme importance here. Yes, many abusers of drugs such as cocaine, heroine, meth, etc. had experience with marijuana first. What is rarely ever mentioned, in the frenzy of major media regurgitating political jargon, is that this ‘gateway’ sequence is almost always started with alcohol or cigarettes - then followed by marijuana² . Why wouldn’t they mention it you ask? Maybe its laziness or stupidity even; most likely they don’t want to get shit on by Budweiser while they’re kissing its gigantic advertising-budget ass.

Luckily there is a silver lining in this twisted shamble of bureaucratic bullshit. Oh yes, perhaps things are not as bad as they immediately appear. Some evidence suggests that marijuana can be used as a treatment for alcohol abuse³ . Not only that, marijuana consumption has been linked with lower alcohol consumption as compared with non-marijuana smokers in Jamaica, where marijuana is often considered accepted⁴ .

So lets let teenage children drink malt liquor. If they do, there is a better chance that they will develop into heavy marijuana smokers. By doing so, they will be less likely to develop into heavy drinkers and may even kick that drinking habit all together. Thus saving thousands of lives every year! In fact, we should start selling Colt 45 in elementary cafeterias for christ’s sake… the earlier the better.

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1. Bradiaza, C. M., Collins, R. L., Vincent, P. C. (June 2007), “Young-Adult Malt Liquor Drinkers : Prediction of Alcohol Problems and Marijuana Use.” Psychology of Addictive Behaviors. 28(2): 138-146. [↩]
2. U.S. Congress, Office of Technology Assessment (19940 Technologies for Understanding and Preventing Substance Abuse and Addiction, OTA-EHR-597 (Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office, September 1994). pg. 74. [↩]
3. Mikuriya, T. D. (April 1970), “An adjunctive therapeutic tool in the treatment of alcoholism.” Medical Times. 98(4): 187-191. [↩]
4. Rubin, V., Comitas, L. (1975), “Ganja in Jamaica: a Medical Anthropological Study of Chronic Marihuana Use“. [↩]

You’ve heard it for years now: marijuana makes you insane. This myth has been floating around from the 30’s government propaganda publicizing that one puff of a joint could make you a murderer, to the modern notion that marijuana use may cause schizophrenia. Despite countless studies advocating tolerance, legalization, and the relative harmlessness of marijuana as compared to other substances, once in a while you find a study that pushes back. It is these fringe ’scientific’ articles that politicians seize hold of while jabbering on about increased potency, witch-hunt-like tales of smoke-induced spells, crime, and mental disorder. Aha! they say. Behold! The demon is real.

Recently The Lancet published one such article summarizing evidence that marijuana increases ones risk of developing schizophrenia.¹ They found that occasional use will increase the risk of schizophrenia by 40% and heavy use will increase risk by 50-200%. The authors claim that their results are nearly free of bias and confounds, but the summary was based on only 7 studies. These were judged by the researchers to be the “relevant” ones out of over 4800. The study admits that many of the articles they used did not make adjustments for alcohol use, mental health disorders, and most were unlikely to adjust confound statistics for all mental health symptoms. It is quite likely that those predisposed with a biological risk for schizophrenia have personality traits that make them more likely to engage in marijuana consumption.

To further complicate matters, it is unclear whether ‘psychotic’ symptoms reported during much of the research was due to intoxication or due to schizophrenia itself. So…they might not have been schizophrenic, just high. If thats not enough, of the 7 summarized research articles, 50 possible confounds were identified. Thats right 50. In other words, there were 50 other potential causes for the increased risk of developing schizophrenia that may have compromised the results. And while we’re on the topic of confounds: nearly all contributors to the study are admittedly on the payroll of large pharmaceutical companies such as Bristol Myers Squibb, Johnson & Johnson, and/or Merck. Some are even paid to investigate marijuana compounds for these companies. Companies which, to my knowledge, are not developing marijuana-derived medication of any kind, but who may be threatened should medical marijuana be made available on a large scale. Sounds like pretty definitive research doesn’t it?

There is no doubt in my mind that this type of research will be used to advocate the continued ban on marijuana. So despite the fact that less that 3% of the population is at risk of schizophrenia, that marijuana only marginally increases this risk, and that the research supporting it is questionable at best - the rhetoric is always the same: Marijuana causes insanity. I can see it already… spin doctors estimating the number of suicides attributed to marijuana based on this assessment, medical marijuana benefits trumped by the potential for psychosis in court, and fear mongering ads citing this garbage across our airwaves. Thank God for science.

If this doesn’t sound ridiculous enough for you, maybe some numbers will help. In the U.S., between 1979 and 1998: 380,000 people died from alcohol-induced incidents (over 7000 from alcohol-related psychosis ), 30,000 choked to death on food, 24,000 died falling down steps, 10,000 slipped or tripped to their death, 8,000 were accidentally poisoned to death by car exhaust, 4,000 died by accidentally lighting their clothes on fire, 1,000 were killed by bees, 200 died from sniffing glue, 65 died in sports tackles, and 33 accidentally fell to their death in a manhole.² And how many died from marijuana?

23… Just above flatulence and gas pain.

It should also be mentioned that many marijuana-induced deaths involve car accidents where another substance was abused at the same time; probably knocking it down below gas pain as a cause of death. By the way, the number of recorded human history deaths related to marijuana overdose is still running at an astonishing benchmark of 0.

But who knows! Maybe marijuana does make you crazy. Maybe its worth it to spend billions of dollars catching, incarcerating, and punishing smokers for the rest of their lives. We don’t need those hundreds of billions of our tax dollars or the hundreds of billions that could be raised by taxing marijuana. Worthless really. Health care is as good as ever, mental illness is on the decline, economy is strong, education is cheaper than ever, and our society is in pristine shape. I mean, every rich bastard needs something to blow his or her money on don’t they? We like drugs. Buying the expensive ones - baning the natural ones.

A Brave New World indeed.

I’ll leave you with one of the most historically accurate marijuana documentaries of all time to digest for now. Government sponsored of course. Oh the Reefer Madness!

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1. Barnes, T., et al. (July 2007), “Cannabis use and risk of psychotic or affective mental health outcomes: a systematic review.” The Lancet. 370: 319-328. [↩]
2. Centers For Disease Control and Prevention [↩]

I began my early adult years, as many do, full of energy and ideas; juggling flights of heroic fancy; inclined to invalidate the forces I felt fueled my anger during all those ghastly years of awkward indecision and nihilism. Yes indeed, I was the young Achilles, Jesus, or similarly inspired Godman - realizing my purpose as both judge and executioner. But the evils were many, the forces-strong… Nonetheless I figured, the hero is always triumphant.

Ahh the righteous young hero; ceaseless fighter; brave idiot; immature ego. I was invincible in a way: if I fell, another would rise to the occasion. The community, country, society, nature, world, and ultimately universe were mere downtrodden impetus of nauseating proportions. What amazed my newly awakened sense of reason was, despite the self-perpetuating shitpile in which we were all tragically immersed, that my co-inhabitants seemed to enjoy rolling in this mess. Where were the showers godddamnit! Who was in charge here?

It seemed so simple.

I began digging. “There must be something fresh and pure here,” I thought confidently to myself. Both hands were flailing now. I was up to my knees in some vile stew that would make even a scat fetish freak vomit up the crusty remains of their intestines. I found a few traces of sand and marine life amidst the muck, “Hope!” I exclaimed. Then suddenly, just before the last rays of light and final gasps of oxygen escaped my consciousness, a fine layer of earth crumbled between my fingertips…

I was always envious of the post-war generation: the hippie revolution, human rights, liberty, consciousness expansion, that ultimately failed confrontation with the forces of palpable routine and the powers of greed. Oh the baby-boomers, our predecesors. The ones who’s unforeseen mess we are currently faced with cleaning and who’s steady demise we shall surely do our best to slow to a crawl. If anyone had the strength and the numbers to thrust this giant sewer into revolution, it was them.

Alas, absolutism set it. The generation of freedom and change fell victim to that immature ego pitfall of finality. Indeed, the post-modern movement became so intoxicated in its successes that it forgot the basis from which it evolved. No rules: anarchy, peace, love, carelessness, drugs, imagination, and higher consciousness. They had built this new and tremendous empire, gloated its riches, then provocated those left behind. What they failed to realize, in the drunken stupor of progress and companionship, was that most people were either not hungry or did not want a piece of the new pie. A fatal mistake. Enemy forces soon mobilized.

Slaughter after slaughter, traitor after traitor, the chapel finally collapsed. Most were absorbed and made themselves a part of the old sludge. Some were stranded in the dust, tortured and scarred - they organize our folk festivals each year.

In the end it was the leeches who evolved. Carefully they eye the landscape for any signs of new life, extract them, and press the new creation with a glowing cattle prod until it stops kicking. The freaks were caged, groomed, and are now shoved into the 30 min. spotlight of primetime television - reinforced, like disfigured laboratory rats, with Porsche’s, prime rib, and a host of electronic fixes. They will spend the last years of their lives hoping to regain that peak-high of primetime; submitting themselves to the whims of corporate sales gimmicks and one-liners.

Its been suggested that perhaps a new age has dawned on us… the age of the geek. Perhaps it is science, reason, and mass communication that will finally free us from the grasp of these vile leeches. Gmail, Facebook, YouTube, Wikipedia, BitTorrent, Linux, Open Source - A universe of instant creative outlets and self-sufficient communities. Have we finally found a way to even the playing field? Or has fresh paint simply distracted our senses from the prison walls behind it?

Those freaks, hippies, acid heads, and free spirited entrepreneurs have left us a legacy after all. They are now the Steve Jobs’s and Bill Gates’s that have those god forsaken leeches drooling over their empires. The revolution of science and technology is one commodity that has proven rather difficult to contain…

These days its hard to tell the difference between a geek and a hippy sometimes. In fact, I find it tougher to find anti-marijuana info than it is to find support. Politicians are bashed, mainstream media is ridiculed, and the Freudian slips of our artificial heroes can be looped on our ipods for hours on end. How can they stop it?

Actually, it doesn’t take much imagination to see us get beaten down again. Instead of controlling LSD, they’ll take control of your ISP. They will begin to ban software, hardware, or keywords even. Open source projects will get sued, YouTube will thicken its filter, and googling the wrong frickin word will bring a leech-infested plague of biblical proportions upon your family. Seems as though the land of the free will always have a toll booth.

It is obvious now that the integration of the web as a mainstream source of information is imminent. After witnessing that deranged marriage of YouTube and CNN, I have a strange sense that things may go terribly wrong. The idea was bold: have the general public record themselves on video directing questions at presidential candidates and then have candidates respond to the concerns of the public. No more whitewashing, prepackaged hosts skimming over the issues and letting candidates go off on tangents; the candidates were now responsible to the voters personally. What are marvelous idea…

But videos were screened, questions ignored, and candidates seemed to merely use the spotlight as a platform to reinforce shitpile rhetoric. Ratings soured; pharmaceutical ads poured; people ignored. And yet, it isn’t my failed hopes that keep me awake at night, it’s being witness to the blood-sucking genesis of mainstream internet. What happens once the bastard parasites at CNN and their ilk see all the upstart and freethinking journalism programs being created? Will they start placing bids on them? Will they create their own brand of citizen journalism that is more visually appealing, has a wider audience, and gains support from our government institutions?

They have invaded our lake for Christ sake. We are swimming in that local lake…you know the one. The one where your family and friends invested their life savings, where the people cared about the lake and maintained it, where you could swim in a mirror-like reflection of the sun, setting slowly, while the winds cleared away your worries and sense of anxiety.

Remember what happened to that lake when everyone heard about it? Greed-driven developers cashed in, tourists swarmed, and the damn thing turned into some horror movie swamp with a fine cloud of algae green fog crawling along the surface. No more swimming, tubing, skiing, wakeboarding, or fishing. Those fucking black water slugs have infested the waters. Then, before anyone could mobilize to stop the plague, it was merely something to admire from a distance.

CNN is the newest neighbor in the blogosphere. It has already begun to rip up the landscape, drain out the water, and advertise its waterfront property to the world at large. Who’s next? When I think about the future I feel our revolution being quashed before it even gets a chance to pick up steam. Perhaps that is the true source of my original jealousy; perhaps that is why I wrote this rant.

I once thought brilliant ideas or creations were meant to better humanity. Perhaps. But anything that fosters the growth of human civilization will only spawn more leeches.

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Michael Moore appears on CNN to rip correspondent Wolf Blitzer a new one… Thank God someone has to guts to confront these lopsided hypocrites and expose their own ‘fudge’ tactics. CNN later apologized for getting some facts wrong in their ‘report’ on Sicko.

Download ipod version

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and part 2….

Download ipod version

This is a little piece I wrote a while ago for the Vancouver Sun. Seems appropriate now when considering the whole Chris Benoit, WWE, and steroid fiasco. The published piece got watered down and had some of the humor stripped out of it, but I’ll post the original here:

There is a recent movement growing that is attempting to change our society for the better: The Skinny Model Debate. Now as a male it is a little tricky for me to comment on this delicate situation because I really don’t have a personal problem with skinny models. However, I will go out on a limb and attempt to speak on behalf of the “too proud to speak” male population in regards to our issue: The Muscular Model Debate.

I am constantly exposed to fury of magazines, reality shows, and television programs that display some shirtless muscular monster strutting his 12-pack stomach and 14 inch arms for the world to admire. It puts a significant amount of pressure on young men to live up to these high standards. Men may be inclined to take steroids, hormones, and supplements - or even risk serious injury at the gym in order to obtain that picture-perfect image. Young men of today are quietly being pressured to take abnormal physical risks that may lead to serious physiological health issues for the rest of their lives.

I am a tall skinny male that could probably eat 10 lbs of beef a day, workout for 20 hrs a week, and make next to no progress over a period of months. Doesn’t anyone realize that not all men can attain those magazine body types? Some of us just can’t live up to the standard. I bet you’ll never see this shirtless toothpick on the cover of Men’s Health magazine.

Perhaps we should impose some kind of size restriction of male models. Limit the shoulder, chest, and calf size of all male models that wish to make a living as stage props. This way, the rest of us average Joes won’t be desperate enough to alter our chemical physiology in hopes of attracting the gaze of the public and mainstream media. Are any men starting on their picket signs?

Fortunately I’ve come to terms with my muscle-less body type. I understand that although some aspects of my culture tend to value those body-types, I don’t necessarily have to fit that mold in order to succeed; there are plenty of other ways to demonstrate value and gain respect. I also understand that forcing some magazine to show skinny male models will not change the over-reaching issue of the importance my culture places on appearance. If appearance wasn’t so highly valued by each of us individually, then there also wouldn’t be this collective pressure that leads many people to take such extreme measures.

If we don’t think appearance is worth risking lives then we should start acting like it. Admire teachers, leaders, charity workers, heroic parents, and all the people that you think have traits that are truly significant. Make those other people famous and stop spending atrocious amounts of money on luxury clothing or style magazines! All this model debate and pressure will amount to putting a bandage on a broken leg. As the age-old saying goes: All true change comes from within.

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