This is a little piece I wrote a while ago for the Vancouver Sun. Seems appropriate now when considering the whole Chris Benoit, WWE, and steroid fiasco. The published piece got watered down and had some of the humor stripped out of it, but I’ll post the original here:

There is a recent movement growing that is attempting to change our society for the better: The Skinny Model Debate. Now as a male it is a little tricky for me to comment on this delicate situation because I really don’t have a personal problem with skinny models. However, I will go out on a limb and attempt to speak on behalf of the “too proud to speak” male population in regards to our issue: The Muscular Model Debate.

I am constantly exposed to fury of magazines, reality shows, and television programs that display some shirtless muscular monster strutting his 12-pack stomach and 14 inch arms for the world to admire. It puts a significant amount of pressure on young men to live up to these high standards. Men may be inclined to take steroids, hormones, and supplements - or even risk serious injury at the gym in order to obtain that picture-perfect image. Young men of today are quietly being pressured to take abnormal physical risks that may lead to serious physiological health issues for the rest of their lives.

I am a tall skinny male that could probably eat 10 lbs of beef a day, workout for 20 hrs a week, and make next to no progress over a period of months. Doesn’t anyone realize that not all men can attain those magazine body types? Some of us just can’t live up to the standard. I bet you’ll never see this shirtless toothpick on the cover of Men’s Health magazine.

Perhaps we should impose some kind of size restriction of male models. Limit the shoulder, chest, and calf size of all male models that wish to make a living as stage props. This way, the rest of us average Joes won’t be desperate enough to alter our chemical physiology in hopes of attracting the gaze of the public and mainstream media. Are any men starting on their picket signs?

Fortunately I’ve come to terms with my muscle-less body type. I understand that although some aspects of my culture tend to value those body-types, I don’t necessarily have to fit that mold in order to succeed; there are plenty of other ways to demonstrate value and gain respect. I also understand that forcing some magazine to show skinny male models will not change the over-reaching issue of the importance my culture places on appearance. If appearance wasn’t so highly valued by each of us individually, then there also wouldn’t be this collective pressure that leads many people to take such extreme measures.

If we don’t think appearance is worth risking lives then we should start acting like it. Admire teachers, leaders, charity workers, heroic parents, and all the people that you think have traits that are truly significant. Make those other people famous and stop spending atrocious amounts of money on luxury clothing or style magazines! All this model debate and pressure will amount to putting a bandage on a broken leg. As the age-old saying goes: All true change comes from within.

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I suppose this is a bit of an outdated story, but I thought I would touch upon it because of its historical significance. The issue is salvia divinorum, and according to NBC,

It’s a powerful and dangerous hallucinogen — and it’s legal.

Quick! Lock up the kids, take their money, and tell them what horrors accompany consumption of this human scourge!

How bad is it parents? Well lets see… what buzz word might jar the memories of your generation for widespread panic and fear? No word, maybe 3 letters: LSD. Thats right parents, Salvia is like LSD - maybe worse. We’re talking hallucinations, out-of-body experiences, delusions, sensory confusion, and yes — short term memory loss.

Salvia is the latest straw boogieman that has attracted the gaze of panic-stricken parents and blood-thirsty crusaders. It is the newest target of fear-mongering in the tradition of the pot, LSD, and ecstasy witch hunts. In fact, there is absolutely no scientific evidence to suggest salvia has any addictive or habitual properties; anecdotal evidence often suggests that many people either try once or use very occasionally. But what does science have to say about Salvia Divinorum?

• Salvia appears to have therapeutic value in the treatment of addiction and substance abuse. It is believed that salvia may help treat addiction to stimulants (speed), amphetamines (crystal meth), and opiates (morphine, heroine, codeine).¹
• Sensationalistic media pumps out misleading scientific rhetoric that salvia “is the most potent naturally occuring hallucinogen”. However, potency is often confused with toxicity. Research suggests that salvia is not considered toxic in doses that are consumed by humans and does not cause organ damage.²
  
• Reports of flashbacks and long-term negative effects have not been conclusively attributed to salvia. These reports come from users that did not exclusively use salvia, but also used other psychoactive drugs.

Meanwhile, attempts in Quebec to lower the alcohol limit for driving have been met with large opposition. Critics argue that such an act may have devastating effects on the economy and will not save many lives. What place does the government have in forcing useless legislation on mature, peaceful, and level-headed individuals? Can you imagine drinking only 3 beers instead of 5 while watching the big game? Disastrous. Thank god someone is fighting to protect our liberties…

Stay tuned for an in-depth investigation of these matters…

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1. Schenk, S. & B. Partridge (Apr 2001), “Effect of the kappa-opioid receptor agonist, U69593, on reinstatement of extinguished amphetamine self-administration behavior.“, Pharmacology Biochemistry and Behavior. 68 (4): 629-34. [↩]
2. Mowry, Mark; Michael Mosher & Wayne Briner (Jul 2003), “Acute Physiologic and Chronic Histologic Changes in Rats and Mice Exposed to the Unique Hallucinogen Salvinorin A“, Journal of Psychoactive Drugs 35 (3): 379-382. [↩]