It’s been a while now since i’ve published a piece. I truly miss it. And not from a lack of ideas or material but rather sheer degenerate dead waiting; idle restlessness and procrastination. It is a ghastly sickness that traps you like a tire wedging itself in a pre-paved tread. Find as little resistance as necessary to maintain… But maintain what?

I am not alone. I am the product of my surroundings. Anyone denying the great idle bore, our mindset, is a pretentious beast basking in the aroma of its own feces. The same shit day-in, day-out: speak mind-over-matter, choke occasionally, ingest mounds of thoughtless titilation. For 2500 years we seek reason and perfection as something real and ultimate… nothing but a hollow incarnation of our desire to overcome the beast of desire.

So here we are, locked in the desireless battle between Religion & Science; shouting obscenities at the power-yielding douche dolls of ancient times. Who the fuck cares? Who cares that scumbags and liars exploit brilliance for riches? Who cares that your liberty is taken to empower honestly heinous bastards so that the decievingly wretched actors can protect you from them? To these issues numb your reason with decadent beastiality. Withold your reason for isolation, for the abstract.

I wonder if this bull is anything but dead. Thoughts, ideas, abstractions. I could connect a million dots together and it wouldn’t make a difference. Power only comes when millions of people share my delusion (see taurus in the sky lately?). Until then, all we have is titilating flashes across the screen. “Still humping the American Dream.”¹

But enough of that chin-raised gibberish eh? Some pompous asshole spewing opinions from an armchair. Or is it floor-gazing regret? No matter, what’s important is movement, grounded reality, or something.  Idleness, dead waiting, rebirth. “What’s the point here?” Oh thats right, closure. After some short, meaningless consideration I will end this site… this idea. It is with this suiting title, a clear summary of my writing this last year, that I am bringing this shit to a close. Clearly it is not quite me.  The mind is built up from mostly movement and feeling… start there, think later.

http://www.deadwaiting.com

1. R.I.P. Hunter S. Thompson [↩]

Well its been a while, a 4-month while, since my last post. Sorry for the delay but things have been crazy: working overtime, full course load, worshiping satan, etc. And lots has happened:

• Pickton was found guilty
• Marijuana laws are again found unconstitutional in Canada ¹
• I temporarily converted to Mormonism
• Warren Jeffs found guilty (the reason I joined)²
• RCMP Taser a Polish Man to Death
• Rise of Ron Paul³
• BitTorrent Crackdown

Good news is I have some time off. But I’m also working to get some freelance clientèle so if you need some web work either let me know or fill out my quote form. In the mean time I will be finishing up some drafts that I’ve put off for months and also looking for new material. Not sure about my yearly Christmas article as yet, but we’ll see; otherwise I’ll post an oldie.

That’s it for now.

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1. Pot Activists Hail Pot Victory. Canadian Press. 19 November 2007. [↩]
2. Jeffs’ charge, trial, sentence ‘unjust’ says lawyer. National Post. 20 November 2007. [↩]
3. see RonPaul2008.com [↩]

It is official. George W. Bush has finally gone Green

After finally getting around to the report on his desk, revealing the inconvenient truth that plastic may take thousands of years to decompose, Bush did what he does best: pledged money to a cause.

The cause was Africa. George also learned that Africa was suffering from a terrible outbreak of something called AIDS, a sexually transmitted disease. George is no dummy, he knew that the best method of preventing AIDS was through the use of condoms. That disturbing fact, coupled with an estimate of 25 million people living with AIDS or HIV in Africa, spawned a series of nightmares for Mr. Bush. Nightmares, he claims, where Africa is submerged in a landfill of used condoms for thousands of years.

“We must do something,” boasted a brave George W. Bush during his latest press conference¹, “Our landfills are filling up, our resources are being drained, and the African people may lose their country to a torrent of used condoms!”

The President was eager to reveal a bold new solution: Foreskin. “Instead of using plastic condoms, a commodity not broken down over thousands of years and restrictive of the penis’ freedom, we will free the penis from totalitarianism! We will sever the skin of every African penis so that it may have same freedoms that we American’s enjoy.”

Human flesh is, after all, biodegradable.

The President was like a polished Greenpeace soldier; shooting out scientific research and moral duty in singular sentences. He silenced his critics with relevant fart jokes and brilliant metaphor. The speech may very well come to be known as the monument of the birth… the birth of American Environmentalism.²

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1. Source misplaced while reading bible. Sorry. [↩]
2. Please note, some quotes may be slightly embellished. [↩]

I hate you. All of you. Worthless sniveling excuses of human nature. I hate people in general really, and I find it hard to muster up any kind of sympathy for you wretched creatures. You cheat, lie, steal, rape; what the hell is not to hate? Who are your idols? Child molesters and greedy self-indulgent business whores. Oh god, oh god, when will you cast down thine apocalyptic plague?

Maybe I’m being too general.

I hate dopey dimwitted blacks, avaricious jew swine, asinine fanatical arabs, materialistic menstruating women, dull impersonal asians, lazy drunken natives, foul curry indians, mexicans, africans, australians too. I hate muslims, christians, buddhists, hindus, taoists, mormons, atheists, and even those carpet-munching wiccans. Kill homos. Screw handicaps. Miss anyone? Fuck you too.

That’s right, this is the internet and I can say whatever the hell I want… asshole.

Hate is serious. Apparently 7,000 - whoops, 7,001 hate websites have been identified on the internet. Sites with games in order to attract children¹. Sites showing how to build bombs². Sites to tickle the senses of any rotten scapegoating scum. The horrifying thing about all this is that websites bypass the media filter system. Anyone can access hate now.

Hate hasn’t always been easily accessible. Hate-mongers would seek the bible or the Quran on the black market and risk molestation at the church. Camps and schools secretly existed where children were raised, from birth, to hate women and homosexuals. All of the sudden this garbage is more accessible. Or maybe it is just the new stuff?

And what about hypocritical scum like the Simon Wiesenthal Center and other do-goodder foundations seeking petty vengeance. They are worried, allegedly, at the rising number of hate websites; some more than others, I presume. Tracking down hatred all over the planet and bringing it to justice. How nobel. If they’re homosexual, two birds - one stone. These people aren’t seeking equal conditional worth for all human beings; they seek blood, as always.

Here’s an idea: Why not teach kids logic, reasoning skills. How is it, in a developed system where children go through 13 years of learning, that most will never experience the faintest glimpse of critical thinking? If society is so concerned with influential children being brainwashed by hate then maybe it should equip children with the tools necessary to resist it themselves. Haven’t we learned that trying to rid the world of effects, while neglecting the causes, is useless³?

But we can’t teach children logic, oh no. If we did that, we couldn’t brainwash them. They would question us; they would hate us for our stupidity. So let’s raise morons, together. Together we can foster hatred for logic instead of hatred for each other. Let logic be our common foe.

There is nothing wrong with us. Everyone needs something to hate.

Self-preservation at all costs.

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1. See “Ethnic Cleansing” the game [↩]
2. Anarchist cookbook and others [↩]
3. See War on Drugs [↩]

I began my early adult years, as many do, full of energy and ideas; juggling flights of heroic fancy; inclined to invalidate the forces I felt fueled my anger during all those ghastly years of awkward indecision and nihilism. Yes indeed, I was the young Achilles, Jesus, or similarly inspired Godman - realizing my purpose as both judge and executioner. But the evils were many, the forces-strong… Nonetheless I figured, the hero is always triumphant.

Ahh the righteous young hero; ceaseless fighter; brave idiot; immature ego. I was invincible in a way: if I fell, another would rise to the occasion. The community, country, society, nature, world, and ultimately universe were mere downtrodden impetus of nauseating proportions. What amazed my newly awakened sense of reason was, despite the self-perpetuating shitpile in which we were all tragically immersed, that my co-inhabitants seemed to enjoy rolling in this mess. Where were the showers godddamnit! Who was in charge here?

It seemed so simple.

I began digging. “There must be something fresh and pure here,” I thought confidently to myself. Both hands were flailing now. I was up to my knees in some vile stew that would make even a scat fetish freak vomit up the crusty remains of their intestines. I found a few traces of sand and marine life amidst the muck, “Hope!” I exclaimed. Then suddenly, just before the last rays of light and final gasps of oxygen escaped my consciousness, a fine layer of earth crumbled between my fingertips…

I was always envious of the post-war generation: the hippie revolution, human rights, liberty, consciousness expansion, that ultimately failed confrontation with the forces of palpable routine and the powers of greed. Oh the baby-boomers, our predecesors. The ones who’s unforeseen mess we are currently faced with cleaning and who’s steady demise we shall surely do our best to slow to a crawl. If anyone had the strength and the numbers to thrust this giant sewer into revolution, it was them.

Alas, absolutism set it. The generation of freedom and change fell victim to that immature ego pitfall of finality. Indeed, the post-modern movement became so intoxicated in its successes that it forgot the basis from which it evolved. No rules: anarchy, peace, love, carelessness, drugs, imagination, and higher consciousness. They had built this new and tremendous empire, gloated its riches, then provocated those left behind. What they failed to realize, in the drunken stupor of progress and companionship, was that most people were either not hungry or did not want a piece of the new pie. A fatal mistake. Enemy forces soon mobilized.

Slaughter after slaughter, traitor after traitor, the chapel finally collapsed. Most were absorbed and made themselves a part of the old sludge. Some were stranded in the dust, tortured and scarred - they organize our folk festivals each year.

In the end it was the leeches who evolved. Carefully they eye the landscape for any signs of new life, extract them, and press the new creation with a glowing cattle prod until it stops kicking. The freaks were caged, groomed, and are now shoved into the 30 min. spotlight of primetime television - reinforced, like disfigured laboratory rats, with Porsche’s, prime rib, and a host of electronic fixes. They will spend the last years of their lives hoping to regain that peak-high of primetime; submitting themselves to the whims of corporate sales gimmicks and one-liners.

Its been suggested that perhaps a new age has dawned on us… the age of the geek. Perhaps it is science, reason, and mass communication that will finally free us from the grasp of these vile leeches. Gmail, Facebook, YouTube, Wikipedia, BitTorrent, Linux, Open Source - A universe of instant creative outlets and self-sufficient communities. Have we finally found a way to even the playing field? Or has fresh paint simply distracted our senses from the prison walls behind it?

Those freaks, hippies, acid heads, and free spirited entrepreneurs have left us a legacy after all. They are now the Steve Jobs’s and Bill Gates’s that have those god forsaken leeches drooling over their empires. The revolution of science and technology is one commodity that has proven rather difficult to contain…

These days its hard to tell the difference between a geek and a hippy sometimes. In fact, I find it tougher to find anti-marijuana info than it is to find support. Politicians are bashed, mainstream media is ridiculed, and the Freudian slips of our artificial heroes can be looped on our ipods for hours on end. How can they stop it?

Actually, it doesn’t take much imagination to see us get beaten down again. Instead of controlling LSD, they’ll take control of your ISP. They will begin to ban software, hardware, or keywords even. Open source projects will get sued, YouTube will thicken its filter, and googling the wrong frickin word will bring a leech-infested plague of biblical proportions upon your family. Seems as though the land of the free will always have a toll booth.

It is obvious now that the integration of the web as a mainstream source of information is imminent. After witnessing that deranged marriage of YouTube and CNN, I have a strange sense that things may go terribly wrong. The idea was bold: have the general public record themselves on video directing questions at presidential candidates and then have candidates respond to the concerns of the public. No more whitewashing, prepackaged hosts skimming over the issues and letting candidates go off on tangents; the candidates were now responsible to the voters personally. What are marvelous idea…

But videos were screened, questions ignored, and candidates seemed to merely use the spotlight as a platform to reinforce shitpile rhetoric. Ratings soured; pharmaceutical ads poured; people ignored. And yet, it isn’t my failed hopes that keep me awake at night, it’s being witness to the blood-sucking genesis of mainstream internet. What happens once the bastard parasites at CNN and their ilk see all the upstart and freethinking journalism programs being created? Will they start placing bids on them? Will they create their own brand of citizen journalism that is more visually appealing, has a wider audience, and gains support from our government institutions?

They have invaded our lake for Christ sake. We are swimming in that local lake…you know the one. The one where your family and friends invested their life savings, where the people cared about the lake and maintained it, where you could swim in a mirror-like reflection of the sun, setting slowly, while the winds cleared away your worries and sense of anxiety.

Remember what happened to that lake when everyone heard about it? Greed-driven developers cashed in, tourists swarmed, and the damn thing turned into some horror movie swamp with a fine cloud of algae green fog crawling along the surface. No more swimming, tubing, skiing, wakeboarding, or fishing. Those fucking black water slugs have infested the waters. Then, before anyone could mobilize to stop the plague, it was merely something to admire from a distance.

CNN is the newest neighbor in the blogosphere. It has already begun to rip up the landscape, drain out the water, and advertise its waterfront property to the world at large. Who’s next? When I think about the future I feel our revolution being quashed before it even gets a chance to pick up steam. Perhaps that is the true source of my original jealousy; perhaps that is why I wrote this rant.

I once thought brilliant ideas or creations were meant to better humanity. Perhaps. But anything that fosters the growth of human civilization will only spawn more leeches.

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If you watch news, read a paper, or even walk by a news stand then you’ve probably heard: Ipods can kill you.

Well I suppose that is a bit of an exaggeration. Truth is that the earphones, all earphones in fact, may channel the electricity of a lighting strike into your brain if you happen to get struck. Can you believe it? After only 87 years of headphone usage, we already have a case of this modern device endangering our lifestyles! So for all you thunderstorm joggers that hide under trees when the storm gets rough and neglect to remove your headphones… Beware! You may be at risk.

I guess it makes sense that this story got worldwide news coverage and front page status. A quick search on google news popped up over 500 stories. Many news agencies had the headline on the front page of their print editions, and soon television networks jumped on the fear parade as well.

With all of the overhyped terrorism, murder, theft, rape, and many other issues that require your attention, its a good thing that our news providers help us focus on the real dangers.

Negative advertising you say? No such thing.

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A Romanian murder convict began a legal case against God in 2005 that has finally been rejected. Here’s the story:

After two years of debates, Romanian prosecutors stoped the investigations in weird case of “Mircea vs God”.

In 2005, Pavel Mircea, who serve for 20 years in prison for murder, sued God because God didn’t protected him from troubles, as he promised at christening time, and then God left him to Satan, who stimulated him to murder.

Additionally, Mircea accused God of bribery and fraud and asked back the money spent with candles and religious services.

The attorney decided not to begin the criminal investigation versus God.

They argued God doesn’t have a residence where the Prosecutor’s Office can send a subpoena.

Yeah and where the hell is that Porsche he’s been promising me all these years? Not to mention the 2nd coming, salvation, rapture, 3-headed demon, and apocalypse. We’ve even got these in writing! And guy has to be loaded you know, what with 2500 years of church donations… Quick, I need a lawyer!

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Finally.

After decades of continuous onslaught and negative media attention on the tobacco industry, smoking gets some good publicity at last! Its about time really; and no, I am not a smoker. I get worried whenever hearing too much exclusively positive or exclusively bad press about any given topic. It feels like an autocratic informational waterhole, blindly propagating the provincialisms of the status-quo. Besides, everyone has that innate desire to cheer for the underdog sometimes… in this case its the tobacco industry.

Apparently researcher’s have found that smoking, even years after you quit, will decrease the risk of developing Parkinson’s disease.¹ Smoking pipes and cigars will lower risk by 54%, having smoked at some point in your life will lower risk between 13-32%, and the more you smoke the lower your risk. Think you might be at risk? Why not light up every now and then with a friend?

All in all though, its probably not such a good idea to just pick up and start smoking. Considering, of the typical drugs, tobacco has the highest rate of addiction (higher than cocaine or heroine)² , has probably the 2nd most severe withdrawal (just behind alcohol), and is responsible for 20% of all deaths in western countries³ . Parkinson’s disease will only affect 0.5% of the general population⁴

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1. Ritz, B., et al. (July 2007), “Pooled analysis of tobacco use and risk of Parkinson’s disease.” Archives of Neurology. 64: 990-997. [↩]
2. Schelling, T.C. (1992), “Addictive drugs: The cigarette experience“. Science. 255: 430-433. [↩]
3. Laviolette, S.R., & Van der Kooy, D. (2004), “The neurobiology of nicotine addiction: Bridging the gap from molecules to behaviour“. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 5: 55-65. [↩]
4. Sawada, H., & Shimohama, S. (2000), “Neuroprotective effects of estradiol in mesencephalic dopaminergic neurons“. Neuroscience and Biobehavioural Reviews. 24: 143-147. [↩]